..suck.

I wish I didn’t have to worry for no reason. I wish I could just believe what he tells me without having to interrogate him. Time can only tell if all of my worries will come to an end or not. I can only hope for the best.

My mind is always thinking more than it probably should about all the wrong things. I always want to know what I shouldn’t know, or what would start hostility. I’d like to be able to appreciate what I have, without over thinking the what-ifs. I wish certainty would make a permanent residence in my mind. How will I know what I want to know if I’m afraid of the outcome? 

Stability, trust, and honesty are most important to me. It’s difficult to believe everything he tells me. Sometimes I don’t even have a reason not to believe; I just don’t want to get hurt. It gets annoying to him when I constantly bring up the same situation over and over again that makes me insecure, but I can’t help it. Hopefully he understands what I’m going through and decides to walk beside me through it all.

Looking for reassurance because you’re insecure and not getting it is a terrible feeling. Sometimes you can’t even blame the other person; maybe they’re just not aware of how you’re feeling. Maybe it’s because they’ve never been in your shoes and can’t imagine how it feels. It’s almost impossible to get someone to see eye to eye with you unless they’ve experienced what you have. 

Giving someone your all and not getting the same in return is depressing. Feeling like the relationship is worth fighting for is one thing; fighting for it alone is another. Unfortunately, it’s never 50/50. Once they realize you’ve started to give up, they’ll realize what they’re missing out on. Giving up is the hard part.

It’s hard to tell when the person you love is lying to you because you really want to believe that they care for you as much as you care for them. Confrontation might lead to arguing; ignoring might lead to stress. It’s never a win/win situation.

Nothing is more hurtful than hostility. Sometimes winning the battle doesn’t always reward you in the end. 

I’ve never really thought about emotional fears; but I guess being emotionally attached can change everything. The more you fall for someone, the more their actions and words have an effect on you. A newly found fear of mine is the ones you care for giving up on you. Only time will tell, but patience isn’t a friend of mine. 

Too cute.